2012 and the Rest of it’s Movies (PART 1)

This is a pretty big year for movies so I figured I’ll do a rundown of a bunch of flicks headed to the theaters until the end of the year. Let me just point out before we get started that I didin’t mention every single movie that’s coming out, I’m just going through the major ones and the ones that fought my eye and I feel like thu deserve your attention (and ones that don’t). Frankly, if it doesn’t interest me then I’m not going to mention it and before I start to ramble on, let me just get into the meat and potatoes of the article. I’ll do it month by month, in the order of the release date

MAY

The Avengers

“The Avengers” Trailer

Now I realize this has already come out, but since we’re still in about the middle of May, I’ll include the movies that have come out this month. If you haven’t already heard, The Avengers is a huge success and it deserves every single record it has broken because the movie is absolutely incredible. Joss Wheadon, the director of The Avengers and the creator of such TV gems as Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Firefly, had a huge task in front of him and he pulled it off flawlessly. This is by far one of the most entertaining things he has ever created and I truly belive the reason The Avengers is as good as it is because of Wheadons background as a comic book writer. He has a knack for being able to juggle and mix different personalities within a team and making it work, jut look at his run on The Astonishing X-Men to see how great he is at how skillfully he is at working with team work dynamics. He balances every member of The Avengers with art-like precision and the end product is a perfect balance of drama, humor and action. It never feels like its an Ironman movie, a Captain America movie or a Thor movie, it just feels like an Avengers movie. The scenes with the Hulk completely out shine the previous two movies the green Goliath previously starred in and Whedon makes The Black Widow’s storyline play out so perfectly that fans are already clamping for a solo movie starring the Russian assassin who is played to perfection by the big boobied Scarlet Johanson (we were all thinking it, I just said it). Do yourself a favor, see the movie in the theaters in IMAX and if you feel like you wasted your money I’ll buy you lunch

Men In Black 3

“Men in Black 3” Trailer

Loved the first one, disliked the second one and don’t really care about the third one. Look, when MIB came out in the late 90s it was fresh, Will Smith as as an actor was new and the special effects were pushing the boundaries of those times. The script was original (even tho it was based on a comic book) and everybody fell in love with it, besides, how could you forget the theme song performed by the fresh prince himself? When MIB2 came out, it was a natural response to the success of the first movie. MIB made a huge impact at the box office and people loved it and wanted more so the studio did exactly what a studio does in that scenario, they rushed the sequel out sacrificing quality in order to get it out sooner. Did MIB2 make money? Of course it did, but not as much as the first one and it wasn’t as well liked as the first one. Now this is what gave the studio pause on the third film: Although MIB2 made its money back, the fact that not as many people liked it increased the risk of people not seeing the third one, therefore making it a financial loss. Basically, the cons outweighed the pros and the third flick was never made. Fast forward to about 10 years later, this time the studio is betting on the nostalgia factor and the return of Will Smith after a 4 year absence from the theaters to help out with the gross of the movie, but count me out. I’ve always felt like this was a one movie premise, the whole point being someone who has no idea that this stuff exists being thrown into a world full of it. The sequels are unneeded and uninspired so the only way I’ll see this in on HBO in about 18 months

Dark Shadows

“Dark Shadows” Trailer

Yet another movie starring Johnny Depp and directed by Tim Burton….color me unimpressed. Don’t get me wrong, Depp is a great actor and Burton a pretty good director, but it seems like they are both stuck in the same place when they get together. It just seems to me like all their movies look and feel exactly the same, with Depp playing the weird, quirky character and Burton shooting everything to look like an Emo kids dream. It’s just that after “Edward Scissorhans”‘, “Sweeny Todd”, “Alice in Wonderland” and now “Dark Shadows”, Burton and Depps collaborations feel stagnant. Scorsese knew when to bail on De Niro, Burton should know its time to bail on Depp.

JUNE

Snow White and The Huntsman

“Snow White and the Huntsman” Trailer

As soon as I saw the trailer for this a few months back I knew I would be seeing this in the theater. I love movies that are filled with visual flair and imagination going wild, and this film definitely hits those spots. The special effects seem incredible, and the dark twist on an old story seems to work (although purists will know that the original Snow White story is even darker and more sinister then this). I know that all the twilight haters will refuse to see this because Bella is the main character, and admittedly I am one of those haters I’m willing to give the girl a chance. Thor’s in this as well wielding an axe instead of a hammer and the film also stars some of my favorite actors form the UK as the dwarfs. The directing seems really good, the score is amazing, the……..who am I kidding? I’m on board because Charlize Theron is in it. I am absolutely in love with her, like not healthy in love with her. I could watch her reading a phone book and it would be the most entertaining thing I’ve ever seen. Wanna hear something gross? ……I’m not going to tell you but for all the guys reading this: Watch the trailer again. You know the scene with Charlize? What would a perv say about that? Yeah…..that what I was going got write.

Piranha 3DD

“Piranha 3DD” Trailer

I love movies that fall into the category of “So Bad it’s Good”, even more so I love “So Bad it’s Good” movies that know that they fall into that category and embrace it. I didint see the first “Piranha 3D” until it showed up on HBO, and even then i only saw it at my friends urging. I expected it to be bad, but I didint expect it to know it was bad and that’s what made it so great. The creators behind this knew that all people were expecting when they saw this was boobies, blood and killer fish and that’s exactly what they gave us and for that they are geniuses. I truly belive that it’s harder to make a “So Bad it’s Good” movie than an actual good movie, there’s a by fine line you have to walk, a perfect balance you have to hold between cheesy and serious. You don’t want to go too cheesy because then it will just become a parody, and you don’t want to go too serious because then the movie will go from “So Bad it s Good” to just plain old bad. I can’t wait to see this sequel, although I won’t waste $13 on a theater ticket I might be willing to drop $4 on it when it shows up onDemand.

Prometheus

“Prometheus” Trailer

Let me just say this right off the bat since a lot of people seem to still be in the dark about this fact: “Prometheus” is a prequel to “Alien”. In the original movie, the crew of Nostromo received an SOS signal and went to help which is what started the whole thing. The ship that sent the SOS signal was Prometheus. I really can’t write a lot about this movie because I have purposefully kept myself in the dark as not to get spoiled on anything and to be totally surprised when I see it in the theaters. I did see a couple of trailers for it, and I just have to say that I love the vibe of the movie, it has that 80s vibe. Aside from “District 9”, we really haven’t had a good Sci-Fi movie in a long time, I guess we had “Star Trek” a few years ago but I don’t consider that Sci-Fi, it’s too well know and too ingrain in our pop culture. A true Sci-Fi movie should be very unfamiliar, when you enter the theater you should have that “into the unknown” feeling and Prometheus has it and that’s why I’ve avoided spoilers like e plague. The late 1970s and the 1980s were the prime of Sci-Fi movies with classics like “Mad Max”, “The Terminator”, “Escape From New York” and “Blade Runner”. Ever since CGI became more affordable then practical effects, Sci-Fi movie have been slowly diluted into all out action extravaganzas. With a few exceptions like “District 9”, Sci-Fi became and excuse to blow stuff up in cool ways by cool characters, like “Transformers”. They became a perfect example of style over substance, they all became action movies at their core without any effort to use the technology if CGI to make an interesting story. For example, if you took out CGI and could only use practical effects (ie. puppets, miniatures etc) how do you think any of the “Transformers” movies would have turned out? They would be horrible because they are all about the special effects. Now on the other hand take “District 9”, even without the special effects it would have been a great movie because they storyline is exceptional. That’s what I’m hoping “Prometheus” is; an amazing movie with amazing special effects.

That’s My Boy

“That’s My Boy” Trailer

A lot of people have been disappointed with Adam Sandler in the past few years, and yes, I somewhat do fall into that category although not as deep as others do. Obviously, his first movies were the best, “Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore” are classics and “Big Daddy” was great, but movies like “Mr. Deeds”, “50 First Dates”, “Anger Management” and “The Longest Yard” are utterly forgettable. I think around the Zohan movie is when most of his fans gave up on him, and you can include me in that category. However, about a year ago I was channel surfing and happened upon “Grown Ups” on HBO (yes, I watch HBO a lot) and found myself laughing, I realized that Adam Sandler hasn’t really changed since “Billy Madison”. His comedy stayed the same throughout all these years and it was me who has gotten older and doesn’t find that kind of humor hilarious anymore, funny but not hilarious. I watched “Billy Madison” recently and recognized the fact that if it came out yesterday I might have not even seen in. I find it hilarious because when I was a kid watching it I found it hilarious, I guess you could call it nostalgic humor; finding something funny because you used to think it was funny. There’s still some missteps once in a while like “Jack and Jill”, which I don’t think I’ll see unless it’s free on cable and I’m drunk, but the recent “Just Go With It” wasn’t as bad as critics made it out to be. Anyway, I’m looking forward to “That’s My Boy” because I like Andy Samberg and it seems like a return to an R rated comedy for Sandler which I can’t wait to see.

Rock of Ages

“Rock of Ages” Trailer

Go ahead, laugh at me if you wish, but I’m a sucker for a good musical and I’m not ashamed to admit it. “Grease” is one of my all time favorite movies and the 1980 are one of my favorite periods in musical history, a movie that combines the two cant go wrong in my book. I’m usually not a fan of the “Glee” type of a musical were they take great original songs and give it a tweak here and there. The song was great for a reason so why the hell are you changing it? I’m also not a fan of musicals not having their own material and using existing songs,(one of the reasons I love “Grease” do much is because all their songs were original and they were all great) but I’m willing to give “Rock of Ages” a pass since it would be damn hard to recreate incredible songs like Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive”. I’ll most likely not see this in the theaters’ either out of embarrassment or the fact it’s so expensive to see a movie nowadays, but I’ll definitely catch in on DVD or onDemand. It’s a musical based in the 1980s with licensed music starring Tom Cruise, it’s going to be like a 90 music vide with a storyline and great tunes….how can you go wrong?

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” Trailer

If you don’t roll your eyes after reading or hearing the title of this movie I’m pretty sure theres something wrong with you. I mean, seriously? Honest Abe hunting vampires? I know it’s a movie, I know it’s based on a really good comic book and I know that vampires a “in” these days but COME ON! If the title of a movie makes you laugh and it’s not a comedy, you have a serious problem on your hands. When I first heard of this I honestly though it was a joke, and to be perfectly frank, I still kind of do. I’m not sure why Timur Bekmambetov agreed to do this movie after his success with “Wanted” because he could have picked any action movie he wanted. I’m familiar with his previous work in Russia, and for any film fan out there that doesn’t mind reading subtitles I highly recommend “Daywatch” and “Nightwatch”, he is truly a skilled director but his choice to do this movie baffles me. I’ll tell you right now: this movie will be a massive flop. I know that it only cost $70 million but I doubt that in a summer of blockbusters people will want to spend their money on something that makes them scratch their head and think to themselves “Is this Serious?”

Brave

“Brave” Trailer

In my humble opinion, an opinion that is absolutely not shared in the movie geek community, PIXAR and their films are extremely over rated. The “Toy Story” films were good with only “Toy Story 3” getting into the great category. “Finding Nemo”, ” The Incredibles”, “Monsters Inc” and “Ratatouille” were entertaining, both “Cars” films were terrible and “Wall-E” and “Up” we’re so unjustifiably praised that it makes me question people’s sanity. I mean for a kids movie, “Up” was so depressing that it would give “Requiem for a Dream” a run for its money. I find myself enjoying the Dreamworks animated films, like “How to Train Your Dragon” and all the “Ice Ages” and “Shreks” more then the Pixar animated outings. It’s like Dreamworks makes these movies for kids with multiple tongue in cheek references for adults while Pixar makes these semi-kid/ semi-adult movies that are not really sure who their audience is. Reading this, you probable already know my view on “Brave” but I’ll say it anyway: I’ll wait to watch 15 minutes of it on cable in 5 years.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

“Seeking a Friend for the End of the World”

A lot of people don’t know about this movie, at least not yet, and it’s totally justifiable. It’s one of those major studio productions that tries to any it off as an independent movie to make the audience think that it’s some fancy art house film. If you’re one of those people, the basic plot outline is that the world is about to end and Steve Carell is looking for someone to enjoy his last moments with. I love Steve Carell but I hope this isn’t one of those roles where he is playing it straight and realistic because after years of seeing him as Michael Scott on “The Office” and Rick in “Anchorman” I can’t take him as a serious actor. I hate to pigeonhole an actor into one type of role, but he played Michael Scott so well for so many years that whenever I see him in something serious all I can think of is him calling Dwight an ignorant slut. Aside from Steve Carell, this cast includes a whole lot of funny guys like Rob Huebel and Rob Corddry and I’ll hold my judgement on this movie until I know more about it but I’ll have a feeling I’ll avoid this one just like I did with “Dan in Real Life” and “Little Miss Sunshine”‘ the latter, by the way, being the most over rated movie of the last 10 years in my personal opinion.

GI Joe: Retaliation

“GI Joe: Retaliation” Trailer

When I originally started working on this blog “GI Joe 2” was still scheduled to be released in July of this year, however around 3 weeks ago Paramount Pictures pushed the movies release date all the way back to summer of 2013. They said the reason for the change was to give the special effects team more time to convert it to 3D, but over the last couple of weeks various sources have come out and said that when the movie was shown to test audiences the results were very negative. Apparently the reason for that being is that Channing Tatum’s character dies in the first 10 minutes of the sequel and the test audience wasn’t a very big fan of that. The problem is that this move is going to cost Paramount a huge amount of money since not only will they have to add an additional year of shooting which includes paying much more money to the actors and crew, but also in terms of marketing. Paramount has spent tens of millions of dollars advertising the movie with the release date of 2012 and now all that money has gone down the drain. Basically if you break it down it goes like this: Officially the budget for the movie is $125 million and that’s not including the marketing budget. It’s usually a pretty safe bet to estimate the marketing budget and around half of the production budget, in this case let’s say $50 million and that brings us to around $175 million before this faux pas. Let’s just say that the additional year of filming is going to run them $35 million, and that’s me being very generous since its probably closer to $60 million. Now, they are going to have to market the movie from scratch so there goes another $50 million, so now were adding a total of $85 million to the budget that was originally green lighted for only $175 million and this brings us to a total budget of $260 million. Budgets like that are usually reserved for guaranteed hits, movies like “The Avengers” or “Transformers” not semi-successful, barely-made-their-money-back movies like the original “GI Joe”. This is a huge risk for Paramount and they stand to loose a huge amount of money if this film is incredibly successful when it’s finally released which I really doubt it will.

JULY

The Amazing Spider-man

“The Amazing Spider-man” Trailer

One of the most annoying trends going on in Hollywood right now is the remake trend, taking basically every movie from before the year 2000 and giving us a remake of it or a really crappy sequel (I’m looking at you “Live Free or Die Hard”). Making remakes of older movies is one thing, but taking a movie from 2002, a movie that we all saw and remember very well, and remaking it is really pushing it. If it was at least a semi-sequel like “The Incredible Hulk”, were it kind of follows the original but not really, that would be fine but Sony decided the go full remake on old web head, treating it like its a brand new movie. I’m a huge comic book fan and Spidey is one of my favorites, I make sure I see all the comic book movies out there but I refuse to sit through another movie of his that spend half of its running time explaining his origins. Everybody and their mom saw the original “Spiderman”, when it came out it held the record for the biggest opening weekend of all time, we don’t need another explanation of how he got his powers. He got bitten by a radioactive spider, even if you never read a comic book you know that, spidermans origin is part of pop culture. Aside from that, just looking at the trailers makes me think that this is aimed at the twilight crowd which is basically the opposite of the comic book crowd this movie should be for. The director, Marc Webb (I swear that’s his real name) only has one semi big budget movie under his belt and its “500 Days of Summer” which is a teen romance movie. I think I’m going to sit this movie out and wait for the DVD unless I hear it’s amazing from my fellow geeks.

Savages

“Savages” Trailer

Not many people know about this movie and I don’t blame them, the movie has kept a very low profile and the expectations for this one are very low. If you don’t know, the plot centers about two California marijuana growers who battle it out with a Mexican cartel when one of their girlfriends is kidnapped. The way I see it, this movie is going to either be terrible or very good and I’m basing that simply on the director and the cast. When it comes to me, Oliver Stone is a hit or miss type of guy and so is John Travolta, Benicio del Toro and Selma Hayek. If they pull it off this could be a fun action thriller, the sort we have sorely missed the last couple of years. Aside from that I kind of feel bad for Taylor Kitsh who is the lead in this one, so far the guy has been the lead in two major productions: “John Carter” and “Battleship”. Both of those movies have been complete and utter failures, literally costing the studios that produced them millions and millions of dollars. If Kitsh doesn’t get a hit on his resume soon he’s going to be viewed as box office poison and his next starring role will be in “Do You Want Fries With That?”.

Ted

“Ted” Trailer

Finally, after spending more the 10 years of making America laugh on the small screen, Seth McFarlane is bringing his type of humor to the big screen, how awesome is that?….If you couldn’t tell, I was being sarcastic in the previous sentence. I haven’t watched “Family Guy” or any of McFarlane’s othe animated shows in years. I found the one note, one joke premise of his style of comedy played during the 4th season of “Family Guy”, but I’m not judging those who do. After all, I am the guy who still finds “The Simpsons” and “Seinfeld” funny although I’ve seen every episode at least twice, all I’m saying is that’s just not my brand of humor. However, I can’t say I’m not intrigued by what McFarlane is going to do on the big screen, I’m not expecting much but I hope to be pleasantly surprised. The premise of the movie is the same as his TV shows with a kind of a dumb slacker being best friends with a talking pot head animal that no one finds weird it can talk. Well, I guess there is a difference because this time the animal is a stuffed bear!!! I know I sound like a hater here, but I’m really not, I just think its fun to laugh at a lack of creativity displayed in everything McFarlane does, but I can’t say I blame the guy. He found something that works and is running with it. Also, from what I’ve seen from the trailers, the movie might be kind of funny and I’m hoping for the best since this summer is seriously lacking any high profile comedies.

Ice Age: Continental Drift

“Ice Age: Continental Drift” Trailer

I mentioned before, when I was talking about Pixar’s “Brave”, that I wasn’t a huge fan of the Pixar animated movies, but in all honesty that’s not really true. I’m not really fan of many animated movies, especially most of the animated features that are released these days. I’m not sure whether it’s just me getting older, It’s just I don’t feel the same about animated movies like a did years ago, but if you were to throw “The Lion King” in the DVD player I’d sit there and love every minute of it. I know that it takes the same amount of work to make a computer generated image as it does to draw one, perhaps even more, but I just can’t connect to the characters the same way. There’s just something special to me about drawing artists slaving over hundreds of pieces of papers, drawing a two hour movie frame by frame. I’m getting way off topic here so let me just double back, although I prefer classic animation to CGI I still enjoy the current trend of animated films. If I had to make a choice, I’d go with “Ice Age” rather then any of the Pixar film (except for “Toy Story 3”), it just seems to me like Pixar tries too hard and Dreamworks has fun with it.

FYI: Just for you guys, this is a secret “Dark Knight Rises” poster that you will only see here…..and most other movie sites, but it will take a lot of effort so….enjoy.

The Dark Knight Rises

“The Dark Knight Rises” Trailer

Much like “Prometheus” I’ve kept myself in the dark about the upcoming Batman threequel, and yes that is an actual word. No matter how hard you try tho, with a movie of this proportions, with this much hype and popularity you’re bound to find out more than you’d like. Before you continue reading, I just want to let you know that I have no real (read:confirmed) spoilers for this movie, but I do have some plot and character details that I will go into here so if you want to go into the movie completely in the dark STOP READING NOW! Is everybody gone? OK, let’s continue. We know that this is the last “Batman” movie for Christopher Nolan and its the end to his batman trilogy. What I mean by the end is that this batman, in this universe, is finished after this one. Whether that means that Bruce Wayne dies or retires is still a well guarded secret by the production team. This time old Bats is squaring off against Bane, a very formidable villain in the comics,and from what it looks like, as well as onscreen. We get the addition fans have been clamoring for since Nolan started with the Bat-films and that is adding Catwoman to the cast, but I have come to find out she is never referred to as “Catwoman” in the film. The new cast member whose presence is puzzling every fan out there is the role Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays. All we know is that Appearantly he plays some sort of law enforcement agent by the name of John Blake, a character that has never existed in the comics. Now Nolan went on record many years ago that he will never have a “Robin” in his batman movies, but (and this is fan speculation only) there are people out there that belive Bruce Wayne will die in this one only to have the mantle of the Bat taken over by John Blake. All of this is simply fanboy speculation and nobody will know exactly what happens until the movie is released, Nolan is good like that when it comes to keeping the plot under wraps. All we know for sure is when this movie hits, it’s going to hit hard and I believe box office records broken by “The Avengers” will be broken again. Nolan is coming off a string of super successfull films (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Inception) and because of how good his previous Batman film was, the anticipation for this one is sky high.

The Watch

“The Watch” Trailer

Before I start on this, you guys want to hear another example of political correctness going to far in America? OK. “The Watch” used to be called “The Neighborhood Watch”‘ but because of the whole Trayvon Martin case they changed it because it might offend people. Yes, unfortunately we live in a time and place where stuff like this happens but enough about the name change and let’s talk about the movie. The movie stars Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn Jonah Hill as a group of dads that start a neighborhood watch group and fight off an alien invasion. I had no idea about the alien angle until I saw a trailer for this a few weeks back, I just thought this was a run of the mill comedy where they’ll end up fighting a cartel or something. I was pleasantly surprised by the alien reveal, but also a little worried because mixing Sci-Fi and comedy is much tougher then it looks. I really hope they can pull it off and I really hope the stars of this flick step up to the plate, because when it comes to the two main actors in this they really need to prove they still have it. Stiller used to be funny (check out “The Ben Stiller Show”) but he hasn’t made a good movie in years and in my eyes, Vaughn was never really a comedy genius. He pretty much played the same cynical asshole in everything he’s ever been in, but if you make his character feel like he belongs in said world he’ll at least be entertaining.

Step Up: Revolution

“Step Up: Revolution” Trailer

I’m not really sure why I’m including this movie on this list, the target audience that reads this is definetly not the same target audience that goes to see Step Up movies. Honestly, I beg you (and I’m 100% serious about this), if you’re planning on seeing “Step Up: Revolution” please leave a comment on here because I would love to have proof that you exist. I’m not sure what I can say about this movie because the deciding factor of you seeing it is very simple: Do you like dancing? Then go see this movie. If I may just give you a warning, because it happened to me a couple years back, if you’re going to see this movie in 3D with a girl make sure that the theater has a 3D screen before you purchase you tickets. Otherwise, you might be stuck like I was, watching “Step Up 3D” without the “D”.

Thank you very much for reading part one of “2012 and the Rest of it’s Movies (PART1)”. Part 2 will be up shortly.

“Game of Thrones” Season 2 Roundup Recap Review (Part 2)

THIS BLOG IS FOR TV VIEWERS ONLY. IT CONTAINS NO SPOILERS FOR ANY BOOKS OR ANYTHING PAST SEASON 2 OF THE “GAME OF THRONES” TV SERIES.

Here goes part 2 of my “Game of Thrones” Season 2 Recap Roundup Review

Jon Snow

Although a huge fan of Jon Snow, I have to say I was underwhelmed by the journey his character took in season 2. Out of all the Stark children, it seemed like he was the only one that didn’t do anything. Yes, towards the end of the season Jon was captured by the Wildlings and in the finale he was on his way to meet The King Beyond The Wall Mance Rayder, but that was about it. What Jon’s problem was this whole season was character arc, and the problem was that he didn’t have one. Jon didn’t go through a journey in the season, he didn’t learn anything new and he was pretty much the exact same person he was at the beginning of the season. In the beginning of the series, Jon changed from who he was at the start, he learned a lesson. When he first came to The Nights Watch he was a spoiled, over privileged, whiny wanna-be prince, but through the whole season he left all his insecurities behind. He became a man of The Nights Watch no longer afraid of who he really was, freely admitting that he was a bastard and not taking any offense when he was pointed out as one. In season 2, he pretty much spent the whole season walking without developing at all as a character, killing Halfhand in the season finale was a step in the right direction, but it was all for nothing because we didn’t see the effects it had on Jon. At the end of the day, Jon is still one of my favorite characters and I’ll like him no matter what, but if they don’t make his story more interesting I doubt I’ll be invested in his character as much as I used to be.

Theon Greyjoy

I think the series tried to do all it could to make Theon a sympathetic character, they gave him a reasoning to betray the Starks, but try as they may I still hated him with all my heart. They tired to give him daddy issues, tried to make us feel like he was abandoned by his father and make us feel sorry for him, but none of that worked for me. When you’re a hostage to Ned Stark you have nothing to complain about, and Theon had the sweetest life any hostage could ever ask for. Most of the time the Starks treated him as an equal, even in the first season it took me a few episodes to realize that Theon is a Greyjoy and not one of the Stark children because of how good he was treated. I wish Theon could spend a day with Sansa to see how it truly is to be a hostage because even though she is a girl, Sansa has it much worse then Theon ever had. If Theon reminds me of anything, it’s one of those girls on “My Sweet 16” bitching that they got a BMW instead of a Mercedes. I can’t write anymore about him because I am actually getting upset, but I’ll just say that I cheered when he was betrayed by his men and I hope they bring him to Robb to get eaten alive by Grey Wind.

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion is my second favorite character in the series, right there behind Arya and the only reason for that is because she has to fight for what she needs where as Tyrion already has it. Never the less, that does not make Tyrions story any more interesting. Arriving in Kings Landing at the beginning of the season as the appointed Hand of the Kings in Tywins absence, Tyrion had quite a task ahead of him. The crown was in debt, the people were starving and the kingdom was at war, it would have not been easy for anyone to face these problems but Tyrion valiantly stepped up to the plate. Of course, he couldn’t fix all the problem that were put on his doorstep, but he tried as much as he could. There was nothing he could do to stop Joffreys tyrannical rule, but Tyrion thrived in this environment. He even said it himself in the finale, how he loved dealing with bad people and talking his way out of problems, a true diplomat at heart. Thanks to Tyrion alliances with the Martells were made through marrige, and even though Cersei hated him for shipping Mycella away she must have know it was the right call. If that wasn’t enough, he devised a plan to save Kings Landing from Stannis using the wildfire, making him not only an amazing diplomat but also an very good military strategist. In the end, Stannis would have sacked Kings Landing if it wasn’t for the arrival of Tywin and Loras, but if it wasn’t for Tyrions weakening of the Baratheon forces I don’t think the arrival of the Lion and Renly’s Ghost would have made a difference. In the season finale, we leave Tyrion beaten and bruised, tossed from the position of The Hand like yesterday’s garbage and left scarred in what’s almost a dungeon. The imp does not get any credit for all the good he did for the people of Kings Landing, nor does he get thanks from any of his family members for keeping their family on the throne. He is utterly alone and under appreciated, a complete 180 from where he was at the end of last season when he was complimented by his father and put into the second most powerful position in the Realm. Where we he will go of here is unknown, but in my opinion, his story was by far the most interesting this season. (take note, Jon Snow!)

Daenerys Targaryen

Dany’s story was absolutely exceptional last season, from what she went through to the characters she was involved with, her story could be a stand alone show. This season? I’m afraid that it was almost as bad as Jon Snows. A sure sign of a boring story is a simple test and its pretty easy, all it asks you is to summarize the story in as little sentences as possible while being as detailed as possible. With Jon is pretty shocking how easy it it: Jon gets captured by the Wildlings….yeah, One sentence, pretty bad. When it come to Dany it’s a little better, but not much: Dany gets to Quarth. Her dragons are stolen. She gets them back…..so yeah, it’s two more then the Jon plot line but try the same thing with Tyrion or Arya. Im not going to do that here because I already wrote whole paragraphs on them, but you see my point. Danny’s story wasn’t much better then Jon’s, but it did improve quite a bit towards the end of the season unlike Jon’s which just remained stagnant. Although one of my favorites on the show, Dany was really getting on my nerves by episode 6, her over privileged way of thinking and talking about herself made her sound like a clone of Viserys. She kept calling herself “The Mother of Dragon” and threatening people with “Fire and Blood” but it was like she forgot how weak she really was and absolutely in no position to threaten anyone. Did she not realize that just a little while ago she was starving out in the desert? She was at the complete mercy of the people of Quarth yet she still demanded ships and an army. It was another of those “My Sweet 16” moments, but luckily she was put in her place when her dragons were stolen. It made her realize how weak she really was and gave her story an interesting twist, wrapping up her storyline quite nicely by the end of the season.

Everybody Else

Yes, there are quite a bit of other characters in the series that I didint mention specifically by name. A few of them simply didint play a big enough role to deserve their own paragraph and others just didint strike me as that interesting so I figured I’ll mash them all up. Robb and Catelyn played a fairly big part, but neither did anything that worth while. Catelyn was simply there and her biggest accomplishment was to free Jamie, and Robb did all he could to show us that while he is great at fighting battles he is terrible at winning the war. Brianne and Jamie didint really have much to do this whole season aside from showing what badasses they both are and how much of a great chemistry both actors have with each other. Their scenes together is something im really looking forward to next season. Tywins scenes with Arya were the highlights of any episode they showed up in, further cementing Tywin and a master of military tactics. With him in Kings Landing and allied with the Tyrells the war is looking like its already won. Characters like Asha, Shea, Joffrey, Osha and Jaqen were great, (Jaqen being the stand out) but they didint play a big enough part in the season to have their own storyarcs.

FINAL THOUGHT

How did I feel about this season? It was good, close to great, but not quite there. I enjoyed the first season much more because it seemed like it was constantly movin forward. When I look back at season 1 I have a hard time coming up with slow episodes because there really were none. Every episode of season 1 was moving the storyline forward, and every episode had something worth remembering be it an action set piece, a revelation or a cliffhanger. Season 2 had none of that, and although I understand that this season was pretty much a set up for the next one it just didint draw me in as much as season 1. Listen, I’m a huge fan of slow burn type of TV shows, when watching something like “Breaking Bad” or “The Wire” I get completely drawn in, but the true satisfaction of a slow burn TV series is the pay off and this season of “Game of Thrones” didint have that. Season 1 was sort of like a build up as well, , but then in episodes 9 and 10 we got the pay off, the storylines we wanted to see end did so, and although not all the questions we had were answered it was enough to keep us satisfied. This past season of “Game of Thrones” was seriously lacking that pay off with only Danys storyline really being concluded and ready to move forward into something else. Overall, I have to say I was disappointed with this whole run and I would give it a 7 out of 10 when I gave season 1 a 10 out of 10. Now before you stone me for blasphemy, allow me to say that I still belive “Game of Thrones” is better then 90% of what’s currently on TV, even including this season, but it’s because I hold “Game of Thrones” to such a high standard that I’m less then pleased when the shows quality dips below my expectations.

“Game of Thrones” Season 2 Roundup Recap Review (PART 1)

THIS BLOG IS FOR TV VIEWERS ONLY. IT CONTAINS NO SPOILERS FOR ANY BOOKS OR ANYTHING PAST SEASON 2 OF THE “GAME OF THRONES” TV SERIES.

Originally I wanted to review every episode of this seasons “Game of Thrones”, but there are many more sites out there that do that better then I. Also, writing a review for every episode is really a lot of work when you include editing and posting it up.
Around the midpoint of the season I decided to do a blog at the very end, to give you my thoughts on season 2, how I feel about the main characters as well as their journeys and express my expectations for season 3. Now just to let you guys know, I am a book reader but I’ll keep this review/recap absolutely spoiler free as far as the next books go.

In this review/recap, I’ll use a technique very similar to what Larry Williams does, but instead of doing locations like him, I’ll do it character by character

FYI: If you don’t know who Larry Williams is, allow me to explain. Larry does weekly YouTube “Game of Thrones” reviews [among many other videos]. You can find him under the channel OtakuAssemble and he is also only a TV viewer so if you haven’t read the books, his channel is the best option for you. He is extremely entertaining and articulate, I watch everyone of his reviews and I couldn’t recommend him more. You can find his channel right here.

Stannis Baratheon/Melissandre

In the books, Stannis is portrayed as a man with no charisma, a man unwilling to bend, as someone who sees the world in black and white without a spot of grey. That truly is Stannis Baratheon, a man who follows his own code and doesn’t break it for anybody, but then again, Stannis is also a man living in George R R Martins world and here everyone has flaws. The only man truly honorable and honest in the show lost his head last season, and the only way to survive is to break even your own rules, much like Stannis did. See, as much as Stannis talks a big game, he is still a survivor and in order to survive he does what he must and that is to get himself involved with some black magic. Just having Melissandre there to help him is one thing, forcing people to convert to his (but mostly her) god is pushing it, but to break your marriage vows with her in order to spawn a shadow demon that kills your brother in secret? Stannis had gone to far, I think he knew it and thankfully and all he needed was a little push from Davos to put some distance between himself and The Red Witch during The Battle of Blackwater. Unfortunately that didin’t work out so well as Stannis lost most of his force and the defeat rushed him right back into Melissandre’s arms. I fear that now he will not be able to, nor be willing to, separate himself from her even for a moment. Especially with the fire vision (?) she showed him in the finale, he’s going to become a fanatical follower of the Lord of Light and be complete under the Red Gods control.

Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell/ Margaery Tyrell

Unfortunately, the youngest of the Baratheon brothers didin’t even get to see the halfway point of this season and ended up joining his brother in the afterlife. It was really too bad since Renly seemed to be a better choice for a King then his brother. He had the charisma, as well as the political savvy; after all, he did get the Tyrells to join his side although that might have been more because Loras was his lover and the Tyrells hated the Lannisters for quite some time. Following his untimely death most of his men joined Stannis and the Tyrells bailed on the whole thing until their alliance to the Lannisters came to light. Honestly, that was their only choice if you look at the situation logically: Stannis, being the unbending follower of rules, would have proclaimed them traitors and have them executed. They couldn’t really team up with Robb since all he wants is the North and the Tyrells are from the South. What would happen to them once the war was won and Robb went back to Winterfell? I know that the Tyrells are very wealthy, but I doubt they can hold the South by themselves. In the end, there are two simple reasons why they switched over to the Lannister side. One is that Loras wants revenge for Renly’s death and I’m sure he somehow knows that Stannis is responsible, the chance to destroy Stannis at Blackwater was too good to pass up. The other reason is power, as Margaery said it herself even before Renlys body was cold, “I don’t want to be a queen. I want to be the queen”. Those are some powerful words, and she is getting what she wants judging from the season finale. I love having Margaery in Kings Landing as Joffrey’s bride to be because it seems like she is the opposite of Sansa which I think is great. Margaery looks like she is on Cersei’s level of playing the game, she knows how the world really works and knows how and when to move the pieces. I’m really hoping that in season 3, Cersei and Margaery will go head to head to see who will become the true queen.

Davos Seaworth

Poor, poor, poor Davos Seaworth…..words cannot express how sorry I feel for you. Whether Davos is alive or dead, you have to admit one thing: he was loyal to the very end, be it either of the end of his life or of the end of the season. It’s true that nothing can replace Ned Stark, but if anyone can come close it’s most defiantly Davos. In the few scenes he had this season, just from his conversations with Stannis and anyone else, you could tell that Davos was a man of honor, willing to die for his king if he had to. Such loyalty didin’t always win him favors with Stannis since Davos was quick to share his opinion about Melissandre and the Red God, but that was one of the things that made him great. You could tell that Davos and Stannis had a very honest relationship with each other, one was the king and the other the subject, but Davos was never afraid to tell Stannis how he felt. It was a good thing that Stannis had Davos to balance out Melissandre and I truly hope we’ll get to see Davos next year.

Cersei Lannister/Joffrey Baratheon/Sansa Stark

This season has shown us that even though Robert is gone and Joffrey is the King, the Queen Regent still hold most of the power in Kings Landing. It’s true that she has no real power and whatever Joffrey says goes, but to a certain extent Cersei has him under control. If that’s actually a good thing is a completely different matter. I’m going on a limb here but I would say Cersei is almost as crazy as Joffrey, although not as sadistic. She’s not having whores beat each other with wooden clubs under the watch of a crossbow, but I do sense a tad of crazy in her. Throughout the season, it looked like she was getting more and more paranoid, and even though Tyrion never actually went out of his way to hurt or kill her she was constantly accusing him of it. Imprisoning what she thought was Tyrion’s whore and preparing all the women of the court to get executed if the city was taken turned my assumptions into fact, but what really cemented my option of Cersei being insane is the last scene of episode 8. The woman was seconds away from poisoning her child! Of course you could say that she didin’t want Tommen to get taken captive or executed by Stannis but how could a mother do that to her kid? I don’t think that Catelyn would ever be able to to that to her children, and speaking of the Stark kids, let me mention the most pathetic one AKA Sansa. While every other Stark is out there, be it fighting the Lannisters or their own battles, Sansa gets pushed around and pretty much spit on in Kings Landing. It was only last episode where Sansa became “brave” enough to make a quip at Joffrey and it was a very underhanded, tongue in cheek quip at that. I hope she becomes more in touch with the Stark blood in her veins next season and starts to fight back. Sansa has the best access to all the Lannisters, just imagine what Arya would do in her position.

Arya Stark

Out of all the Stark children it’s obvious that Arya has it the hardest, which at the end of the day makes her the toughest. Jon has it bad beyond the wall, but at least he has his brothers. Robb is fighting a war, but at least he has his army. Sansa is stuck in Kings Landing, and although she gets knocked around, as long as she plays nice she has a bed to sleep in, food on the table, someone to comb her hair and every other luxury that comes with living in a castle. Bran and Rickon had a pretty sweet life most of this season, and even after Theon took Winterfell, it’s not like the Stark boys were being hurt. Now ask yourself, who does Arya have? She had Yoren for a bit until he was killed in front of her, after that she was taken prisoner which I’m sure wasn’t a walk in the park. She became a servant once in Harrenhall, and even though she served Tywin, I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Every other scene we saw her carrying buckets of water and cleaning up after people, as well as being mistreated by the Lannister guards. There was bright spot in Jaquen but he’s gone now, so who does she have? Now keep in mind that besides Bran and Rickon, she is the youngest one. She most definitely has is the toughest, but thank god she’s Arya because it makes her strong. It was in this season that we saw Arya turn into a survivor and the conversation she had with Jaquen in episode 7 regarding the third name proved that. She loved her father, but she’s nothing like Ned. Arya will lie, cheat and steal to get out of a situation and as long as she’s alive at the end of the day she’ll be happy with herself. What proves this the most is when she names Jaquen as the third name he tells her that she has no honor and Arya, without missing a beat, shrugs her shoulders. You can see it in her eyes, they way she sees the situation is “Who cares if I have no honor? At least I’ll be alive.” it’s as simple as that. At the end of the season out of all the Stark children, with all their honor, bravery, love and courtesy it is only Arya who’s not up shits creek without a paddle.

It’s 2 am as I’m writing this, I still have to edit and post it. I won’t be done until at least 3 am. I really didint want to do this but I’ll have to split this into 2 separate blog. I’ll have the second part up tomorrow.